My Early Writings: Kidnapping Bears & Veggietales Ripoffs

So, Word Documents weren’t exactly my first format of writing.

I was a self illustrated, children’s book author before I moved on in my career.

So, today I’ve decided to share the remains of that illustrious time before I turned 12 for your enjoyment.

Hope my small self turns out to be as entertaining to you as to my siblings and me. 🙂

(This might get a little long, so buckle up… sit back… get some cookies… whatever)

Presenting highlights of my masterpieces:

 

ROSey And The bere

ParT 1

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So the story on the “Part 1” bit is that Squink wrote a book that was about her, underlined with “Part 2”. I asked where part 1 was and she kindly informed me that I was writing it.

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Rosey went for a walk one day in the woods. It was a fall evaning,

I thought that a pretty good opening hook. Though my prize of that page was the fall leaves. And the bear peeking out inconspicuously from behind the tree.

 

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Then, a bere jupt out and cat her!

*gasp*

After I was cat by the evil bere, he brought me to his cave. Where I languished until Daniel happened to notice that I was gone.

Cue the Indiana Jones music and my dad heroically questing after me.

Dady town the bere and

Dady fowd the bere and tryd to kill the bere,

 

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Dady killd the bere, and got rosey!

Aaawww…

Man, that bere really had it coming.

So Dad brought me home to Mom and we got a new bere-skin rug. *nod* True story.

 

And, this next bit is what required most of the abridging. I was into drawing comics for a bit and decided to write my own *he-hem* version of Veggietales. Starring notably smaller fruits and veggies.

My all star cast consisted of PJ the Pea, Terry the Cherry, Benny the Blueberry, Rose the Rosehip and the ambiguous “Bean”.

And later on their appropriately alliterated little siblings.

And the bullies: Squish the Squash, Jack the Pumpkin, Brenda the Blueberry and a girl grape who didn’t seem to have merited a name.

This progressed into a hefty, three (almost four) volume series.

The first:

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Involving a lovely moral, cliched bullies and a school with very strange rules.

So the opening premise is that there will be a school play of knights and dragons. The actors will get *gasp* ten whole dollars!

Of course, the giant squashes must bully PJ about this.

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“You gonna try out for the auditions, WIMP?” “Yes, and YOU are NOT scaring me off!” “Come on, PJ!”

Yes, because bullies are always so possessive of school play roles. (??)

So PJ and co. do well, but the bullies add a plot twist to the script and it looks like the teacher is favoring them. This breaks our heroes’ little veggie hearts and PJ goes home to his family.

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“How did school go?” “I don’t think I’ll be able to act in a play. But if I could have I would have gotten ten dollars!” “That’s too bad!”

Yes, I know his big sister looks like an invading giant the way I drew her. It was an accident. But I insisted I did it on purpose under the artistic flag of “perspective”.

So, his big sister Petal (a flower person) relates her similar experience and says that PJ should just be nice to the bullies. PJ comes up with a master plan and over-prepares everyone to help the bullies in any way possible.

Turns out that Brenda, who’s in band with Rose, comes in and rips her hat on a trombone (she’s talented like that). Rose willingly fixes it and, much to her horror, Brenda goes straight to the principal’s office.

But everything is not as it seems… *wink*

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“…It says so in this book of rules for stage auditions!” You MAY NOT change the script in order to win favor. If you do so you break a rule and the other person wins by a default.

That’s… um… quite a large volume for stage audition rules… 😕

 

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“You will not be acting in this play anymore! You BROKE A RULE! I have my witness!” *gasp* “BRENDA!”

The dramatic entrance with the infuriated principal.

Followed by the teacher peach (ha! I never noticed that pun…) telling Benny to get everyone because they’re on for acting. A nice little jab at PJ’s math weakness here…

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PJ! Your a genius!

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(21 divided by 3 = 4) “I am?” “Yes! It worked! We’re on for acting! Get to the stage! Hurry!”

A successful play follows and Petal is proud of PJ.

Lovely moral gotten across. Mission accomplished. Series over, right?

Wrong. Things go a little downhill from here…

Enter “Kidnap! In Veggietown”

Which involves an extremely large grudge over $10, more than its fair share of chloroform and a “korn” obsessed with Ks.

I lost the front page… sorry.

We open on the bullies still stewing about losing the play roles and money, then going and finding a kidnapper in the phone book with the intent of “REVENGE!”

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“Hello?… yah, I’m Kent… you’ve got business for me?… a little Rosehip?… no problem!”

His nonchalant bad-guy stance is great.

I told you he was obsessed with Ks. *nods to his “kastle”* Case in point.

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“… so these are your weapons of choise?” (Chloroform, corn silk and plunger gun) “YES!” “Wow!” “I can’t wait to see the looks on their faces!” “Hmm…”

I included a condescending footnote defining chloroform to those uneducated as to its wonders.

Keep in mind that all this debacle is over the matter of $10…

 

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“Out like a light! Grab ‘er, Squish!” “Let’s pack up and head to my boat!”

After pinning Terry with a plunger gun and tying up Rose, they tell Terry to deliver a message and then knock them both out.

There are a few pages where Petal finds Terry and brings her home. PJ proceeds to freak out and jump on Terry.

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“Now I remember! Rose was kidnapped by a guy named Kent Korn and the bullies! And the ransom is our prize money!” “OH NO!” “Poor Rose! We have to tell her family!”

Because, sorry, our friend just isn’t worth ten dollars. We’ll have to think of something else.

And of course Petal and PJ can’t go to the Rosehips. They have to send their kid sister, Posy, in a lightning storm.

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And keep the message DRY!

Note our heroic PJ basking in the glow of the fire inside.

Posy delivers the letter and spends the night at the Rosehips with Rowan, Rose’s brother. In the morning she and he decide to read Posy’s copy (?) of Petal’s letter.

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Dear Mr. and Mrs. Rosehip, I have received news that your daughter, Rose, has been kidnapped by the bullys and a man named Kent Korn. We will help as soon as we can. Petal

This incites a revolution among the little siblings of all of our heroes and, unbeknownst to any of the people in town, they quest off to rescue Rose.

(Rowan and Posy retrieve their friends: Perry the Cherry, Bonnie the Blueberry and Bobby the Bean)

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“Bonnie! How does it look?” “They’re taking a nap! “Here I go!”

Because bad guys just kidnap people, then proceed to take a nap. All at once.

Rowan proceeds to rappel, Mission Impossible style, down into the open-roofed base, get his sister in the loop with him and wake up the bullies by accident.

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Despite the fact that a small child/cherry just got knocked off the edge of a high building, Rose looks bored with this whole endeavor.

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Quite the adventure.

 

"Don't do it!"

“Don’t do it!”

Wait, there’s a ladder all of a sudden?

This progresses into a fight scene that… um… is a little far fetched.

Bonnie spins around and her braids smack the two girl bullies away. Rowan headbutts Kent in the stomach. Posy (the pea, mind you) whips Jack (the pumpkin) with her pigtails and he falls off the roof.

And Bobby takes the cake for the most impressive move.

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A string bean. Dropkicking a butternut squash. Yeeeaaah….

So the fight is over. Our heroes win. Cue triumphant return. (After a detour to fish out Perry)

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Blueberry: “We’re so proud of you!” Beans: “Good job, Bobby!” Peas: “You did it better than we ever could’ve, Posy!” Rosehips: “We love you!”

I realized after a bit that I’d forgotten Perry. So there was an addendum to show him getting in trouble because his mom didn’t believe him.

 

And the most conceptually shaky of the trilogy…

War in Veggietown

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PJ looking appropriately shellshocked.

Just… watch.

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“Miss Mango, your city’s store owners are monopolizing the business! And your city is getting all the money! Would you be so kind as to ask them to stop?” “No! Our city is making good money and I’m not about to stop it.”

 

Skip to the next day, where Terry sees a newspaper.

Squash City has declared war on Veggietown. Two towns are declaring war on each other.

But it gets better.

The only ones drafted into the army seem to be the schoolchildren. O_o

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“Benny! Stop, drop and roll! Come to the fort!

Benny attempts to follow PJs orders, but is shot.

Enter a character I later described as “Harrison Ford as a cucumber”.

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I’m coming!

He rescues Benny and takes the bullet out of him, all the while answering PJs questions with clipped, cool answers. It is revealed that the mysterious cucumber’s name is Luke.

He claims he has medical training, but his cure for a bullet wound was a bandaid. (PJ seemed quite impressed though. He had a “?!” over his head. Band aid? What sorcery is this?)

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“We too have a score to settle with Veggietown. And we know just how to do it!” “What I propose is a mass kidnapping. Just let work out the bumps and this war will be ours!”

Wow. Still hurting for those ten bucks, are we?

After some heart-rending images of the little veggies missing their big siblings, they all go for a walk and, of course, are kidnapped.

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Convient placing of a reporter.

Our heroes see the newspaper and proceed to have a conversation about when they should rescue their siblings. But Petal, Benny and Luke seem to be the only ones with time in their busy schedules to rescue their family members, so they come up with a master plan.

Which involves… wait for it… kidnapping.

*gasp* Whoa! Such a new element!

So, after said kidnapping, Petal impersonates a henchman named Nightshade.

"Nighshade! What happened?" "Well,

“Nighshade! What happened?” “Well, it’s pretty simple. They captured me and I escaped.” “Good job! Now come see our SUPER SECRET PLAN!”

I love how I always referred to the SUPER SECRET PLAN in all caps.

Petal finds out the SUPER SECRET PLAN and then escapes…

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Thanks for the info! I’ll tell all my friends in Veggietown!

…of course, forcing the enemy to surrender.

Yay! Happy ending!

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Aww… 

Wait… Luke has a little brother now?

Anyway, that was the end of the completed Veggietown saga.

There was another one involving a tabasco sauce-breathing dragonfruit. It kidnaps (man, I just can’t leave that element alone, can I?)  PJ and Terry. Because they haven’t been kidnapped yet and were feeling left out.

They were trapped in a tower with Benn Gunn as a Garlic and… I left it there.

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Well, I’ll leave that up to you. Probably more kidnapping, more ten dollar grudges and chloroform.

Hope you enjoyed a peek into the writefury’s writing past!

What were your little kid projects? Which Veggietown was your favorite? 😛

Please comment!

~writefury

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32 responses to “My Early Writings: Kidnapping Bears & Veggietales Ripoffs

  1. *am trying to keep my head from falling of from laughter* OH GRAVY. I’M DYING.
    My first official story involved talking animals, an otter that saluted so hard that his head fell off, and piranha-eating cheese curls – surprise! You’re not the only one who ripped off VeggieTales. XD

  2. Oh my goodness, this is the best! I remember my first story…hehe. It was a treasury of really (and when I say really, I mean REALLY) short stories. One was about two girls who went to the park and played all day.

  3. Oh goodness, those were HILARIOUS!!! My first “picture book” involved a literal mermaid/horse/unicorn and her adventures! And then I wrote another story about a dolphin named Bailey that lasted for at least fifty pages, no joke. Ahh, glad those are lost in a box somewhere. 😉

    • I’m glad! 😀 the post was turning out so long I hoped it wasn’t getting tedious. XD
      Wow, fifty pages? Quite an accomplishment ! I never got that far into anything but comics. 😛

  4. “The Heroic Endeavours of Rosey, the Writefury”
    by Celandiya Wyatt
    Once upon a time,
    Me and Rosey went to Scotland.
    It really was fine,
    ‘Til we were kidnapped and forgotten.
    The Scottish lord, McLeod
    Stole us away for a big ransom.
    The “gentlemen,” he bowed,
    Then hurried away in a hansom.
    He came back at midday.
    I wasn’t sure how we could get free.
    But Rosey held him at bay
    With chloroform mixed in his tea.
    THE END

    Hehe! Does that about sum it up??? XD
    You are so funny! I just love your sardonic sense of humour. Sherlock Holmes has a lot of that in it. So much fun to read!! : )

      • hehe! Aww, your welcome! ; ) By the way, did you every figure out when you’ll be free to call? : )

          • Oh, btw, one of my first stories I wrote was of a little princess baby named Aralynn who got dropped in a ditch (mhmmm– You heard me… The PRINCESS!) and forgotten (typical of lost princesses). Two women an evil stepmother and her ugly stepdaughter adopt the baby, and put her to work. When she’s 10 years old, she finds out who she really is… – and honestly I never finished it. Which does that sound more like Cinderella or Cinderella?
            Or about the next one where a princess named Magnolia meets a prince that a wicked witch turns into a frog? She kisses him and he becomes her princess charming *falling over, melting in a puddle, blissfully sighing, and all that other girly-dream rot* Don’t you love my wonderfully original imagination I had when I was 9? XD
            Me and my cuz actually acted out the latter one in a play because I had an old-fashioned green dress with puff sleeves (yeah!), and we dressed one of us as the frog in the green dress. And the princess got a blue, purple, or red dress — I can’t remember which…

  5. I just got my wisdom teeth out today and sat down to read this new post. At “shell-shocked PJ,” I laughed so hard that my ice pack fell off my face. 😀

  6. I have a three paragraph story about a princess named Andebelle (no really that’s how I spelled it) from the 1400’s her mother died from the black death and that is the summary of the first paragraph. The second is basically her father telling her to suck it up and get over her mom. The third is a prince whose mother also died coming along and marrying her as soon as he saw her. Its probably about 200-300 words long.

    • Well, way to get the low point and high point in there! 😛
      Andebelle… I like it. My made up name (never used on a character) was Ridillia. XD

  7. Lol several times – at post and comments! 😀 I think my fave is going to the phone book for a kidnapper, tho. The police will never think to look there!! 😝
    I also love the bandaid=sorcery comment. I do think you need to do a follow up post containing your very first story – the short one about a cherry.

  8. THIS IS WONDERFUL AND HILARIOUS. 😂 I LOVE IT! I used to write and illustrate books like this too back in my small-human days…except I stole fairy tales and told people I’d made them up. 😂 So bad, right?! I’m pretty sure my mum still has them…
    I love your “bere” story. ;D

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